Excuse Me While I Take a Moment

Today I watched my daughter put her bear to bed and arrange herself comfortably in a nest of blankets and pillows, and it hit me, hard, again, how far she’s come. I can’t get away from simply feeling floored by how much she has taken in and adapted to in so short a time. I feel like many people expect a lot of her, and I still stand amazed that she does what she does and accepts what she accepts. I am humbled by how she loves Jarod and me, how she has embraced us as her parents. There was a moment in Ethiopia, when she was looking through the photo album we brought for her, that she pointed at the photo of Jarod and me and said, “Enat,” while pointing at me and, “Abat” while pointing at Jarod. She named us as her parents, solemnly, as if she were crossing some great divide. And she was. I don’t have words for how incredibly brave she is, how utterly extraordinary I find her to be. I know that it happens all the time, that parents bring home the children they have adopted, and the children become a part of the family, and that is that. But to lose everything and just walk into the arms of people who say they are your parents and say, “Okay,” well, I just can’t grasp that.

So instead I just sit in front of my computer and cry.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Excuse Me While I Take a Moment

  1. cara

    Beautifully written, as always, Mary. I have loved reading every step of your journey. one of the things that most humbles me about being a parent is their absolute acceptance and trust. In my head, I feel like a failure sometimes, but in the eyes of my children, Henri and I are perfection. At least until pre-teenhood. 🙂

  2. Lovely. So happy for you.

  3. I’m crying right along with you.

  4. Kori Kimble-Anderson

    Mary, I felt so honored to be a part of your and Zinashi’s day yesterday. I loved watching the two of you together….two peas in a pod! She is a happy little girl, you can just tell. And I don’t think that just “happens” with every kid- adopted or not. I was only with you a couple of hours and even in that short period of time, I witnessed the bond between mother and daughter. She is an amazing little girl, that Zinashi…but I think her Momma is pretty amazing, too 🙂
    I am off for more “buna”, but I wanted to say a genuine “Ameseginalehu” to you and Zinashi for all your help yesterday, and I cannot wait to get together again in January!

    Kori

  5. Jenni

    I’m new to your blog, via GGC, but I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning when I found it, reading it from start to finish. I laughed and I cried, and I wanted to sneak into my kids bedrooms and snuggle them a few times too. It made me proud to be a Mom. You are a wonderful writer, thank you for sharing your heart and your beautiful daughter with us.
    *Also, my 3 year old went through a bout of no joke similar 3-hours-of-screaming–like-his-little-life-depended-on-it-before-falling-asleep-fighting-it-every-second-though-exhausted and he is our biological son. Apparently getting a little brother was quite traumatic for him. I know that feeling of being so sad for them but also getting sooooo frustrated because “Mommy’s just so tired!” We have finally worked through it, hats off to you.

  6. Jen

    I cried with you Mary and I totally agree, she’s so magnificent. She’s simply inspiring and has an open heart to receive love.

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