Not Sooner, But Not Later Either

We received a surprise email yesterday announcing that we have a court date September 29. I felt all at once relieved and disappointed. I knew it was a long shot for an August date, but still…two more months seems like a long time. At the same time, it’s better in terms of hoping to stay in Ethiopia between court and embassy dates. This is not something that our agency has even approved yet, and if they do, I might have to clam up entirely about the matter for awhile so as to not make it seem like it’s the thing to do.

It’s not the thing to do. I don’t say this lightly. I will not go to our agency claiming that we have rights and that we can do this and blah blah entitlement-cakes. I’ll present the opportunity we’ve been given, be respectful of how they’d like to handle it, and make repeated assurances that I have no intention of encouraging others to do the same or of telling someone that they should even try it. Both our circumstances at this time in our lives and my own travel style are well-suited to the opportunity for me to stay and learn more about my daughter’s country, and hopefully see our daughter as much as possible in the process. Again, I plan to be sensitive to our agency’s preferences and direction in this regard. I am not entitled to anything that is not being recommended or offered to others. I understand that everything about the process is unpredictable, and I could end up staying in Ethiopia for quite some time. I know that, and I’m comfortable with that, and quite frankly, I have loved living places where the excess that the West affords is absent, where the clocks ticks a bit slower, if at all, and I find it quite funny that one time I served a group of teenagers cereal for three days straight because we had to pack up our kitchen since we weren’t sure when our boat would leave exactly. I dig that sort of life is all I’m saying. If we weren’t adopting and I were given the opportunity to stay in Ethiopia for an extended period of time, I would surely take it.

So that’s where we are. We have a court date. We’re exploring our travel options. Jarod would like to spend his birthday in Addis, and I think that can be arranged. We are beyond excited to meet our girl. I wish it were sooner, but I know that once she’s with us, we’ll hardly care anymore. I’m doing my best to keep that in mind, and also to not cry at the drop of a hat, or at least not in public. So far so good, but ask me about that in a month, and I might be telling another tale altogether.

(PS–Those of you clamoring for photos can mark September 29 on your calendars; we’ll be able to show her off to you once we pass court.)


1 Comment

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One response to “Not Sooner, But Not Later Either

  1. Liz

    I really applaud your rejection of crying about your entitlement, it seems all too rare in the adoption world…but, I think a nice compromise might be to realize that while your agency gets to call the shots about the amount and type of access you have to Magnolia between court and embassy appointment, you certainly have the right to live and/or travel wherever you think is best during that time!

    I hope the time between now and Sept. 29 flies by for you.

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