A Better Mother

I’m pretty sure we are number thirty-nine on the wait list now, and I am earnestly diving into projects to have our house in order for Miss Baby Lady (who will have a thousand nicknames, I’m sure). We are excited, and hopeful, but also somber. One thing I do not want to forget is that this is not an ideal situation for our daughter. We wish that adoption weren’t the best option in some circumstances. We wish that tragedies didn’t occur every single day that would lead parents to be unable to care for their children. We wish that our baby wouldn’t be arriving already having lost so much. In light of these wishes, we purpose to do whatever we can to be the kind of parents who will always listen, always soothe, never judge harshly, never shrink away from whatever our daughter may feel about her beginnings and becoming part of our family. The way we see it, she will always have two families. Always. Before she belongs to us, she belongs to her first family, and her story will include both.

I am grateful for all the adult adoptees who have written, and continue to write, about their experiences. I am grateful for their honesty and their openness. There is so much I never would have considered that I now seek to better understand, so much that is glossed over in the excitement of bringing home a beautiful baby. These adoptees are courageous and well spoken and just who I need to hear from. They are making me into a better mother, and I am indebted to them. Thank you for sharing your stories, your wounds, your path to healing. It means the world to me.

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1 Comment

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One response to “A Better Mother

  1. inventingliz

    I definitely second that! I’ve learned so much from reading and listening to adult adoptees.

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