Missive, the First

Dear Magnolia,

I’ve been reading someone else’s blog about preparing for coming home with their first adopted baby, and they speak of it as the inevitable. That one way or another, their baby was coming home, and it hit me when I read those words that this is how I feel about you.

We are only in the beginning, see, and your mama, who is a worrier by nature, is already fretting. The what ifs pile up pretty easily, when I’m just beginning to get the house cleaned so I can take photos of it and your papa’s hair cut so someone can take photos of us looking like respectable, parental type people. We have everything ahead of us, and it is hard not to imagine the roadblocks. I worry that what we turn in won’t be enough or that they will not be satisfied by the answers we have to their questions, and sometimes it seems a little to much to bear.

But then I think of you, and I think of the UPS tracking number I have saved in my inbox for the shoes I bought you already, and I think of the small thing I already know I’ll buy for you when we sail over that first hurdle, and I just think we’ll be all right. We will find our way to each other, somehow.

Love,
Your Mama

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